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first time I screamed about the war

nothing to add more. June 2022

no longer have the strength to flip through the news and hear about the explosions

I feel how slowly I'm breaking.

and in general, it's the truth –

we'll bring this war to our and your homes,

as broken glass under our skin

because of the blast in someone's house

as a note in

(everyone has it nowadays)

war diary:

"today it's 52 day, an explosion near my home, I'm too terrified to go around".

as a child's scream, which you hear skipping YouTube ad about the war in Ukraine

as a smell such a familiar and warm soup mum cooked for someone who's gone and this mum now sitting near the fragments and sobs so much

as a message from my close friend, last evening:

"hey s, there're three blasts around our house, don't wanna go everywhere but absolutely sure I'll stay in Kyiv. I'm happy I wasn't alone at that moment but I'm extremely exhausted"

as my crossness on my mother living in Lviv next to me, while our native home's collapsing and nobody is known when and how it's over.

when and how will it end in general?

I'm trying to write in order to get myself opportunity to scream to everyone who could hear:

MY NATIVE COUNTRY, MY NATIVE TOWNS WHERE I USED TO WALK AND WHICH I'VE VISITED ARE DESTROYED AND STILL BEING DESTROYED

I FEEL SO MUCH PAIN I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN IT TO YOU ALTHOUGH I TRIED

I can't explain the limits of my pain, it has no boundaries

but if I could,

I described you,

where would I put it.

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естер невінчаний

естер невінчаний

@ester

strange (w/b)itch

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On Drukarnia since July 24 2023

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«when and how will it end in general?» that’s the question…

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